May 13, 2010
Heart Aches and Opens in Cambodia
My friends had left Luang Prabang in Laos a few days earlier than I to go tube rafting and partying down a river in Vang Vieng so I had to make the journey down to Cambodia on my own. As I sat in the airport in anticipation for my flight, I felt butterflies fluttering around my belly unlike anything I had experienced during my travels thus far. I was nervous. I sat and read about the country’s saga in one of my guide books and then it occurred to me why I felt the way I did; because the atrocities that took place there were so recent. The war and genocide only ended in 1979 and the country has never really recovered. The reality of that was very unsettling.
When we arrived in Siem Reap, after a very turbulent flight, I was very surprised by the very clean and modern airport. Immigration was very professional and collecting my backpack was a breeze. I almost forgot where I was for a minute and thought that perhaps my experience there wouldn’t be so bad after all.
I had pre booked myself into a guest house and had made arrangements for someone to come pick me up at the terminal with a tuk tuk. As I exited the airport, I was greeted with a huge smile by Tanvent, a young handsome Cambodian who I immediately liked. As we drove from the airport to Rosy Guest House, I was surprised by how quiet and tame Siem Reap seemed. This wasn’t the way I had imagined it. I learned later that local law enforcement implement strict protocol about beggars and homeless people in the city. Most are either forced off of the streets or put in jail. This is all done for the benefit of tourists and the idea made me uncomfortable.
After quickly checking in, I asked Tanvent to drive me to Angkor Wat for sunset. When I arrived at the gates of the temple, I was stunned by the number of tourists waiting on line to purchase tickets.I felt like I had arrived in “Spiritual Disneyland”. I raced up a mountain accompanied by hundreds of other visitors to ancient ruins. Despite the number of people, I felt instantly connected to my surroundings and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the sun setting over this new land that I found myself in.
The following morning I awoke at 4:30 am and made my way back to Angkor Wat to witness the sunrise there. I found a quiet spot away from the crowds, positioned myself in Lotus position and began to meditate. Walking through the temple was mesmerizing. The detailing and craftsmanship in the stone quite literally took my breath away.
The distance between each temple is quite vast, so Tanvent drove me from each holy site. Bayon temple brought me to tears. The Bayon's most distinctive feature is the multitude of serene and massive stone faces on the many towers which jut out from the upper levels and cluster around its central peak. The effect is spectacular.
After sunrise, I invited Tanvent to join me for coffee and he began to tell me a little bit about himself. He grew up in Pnom Pen but moved to Siem Reap to go to college. He is studying business and accounting yet would prefer to go to acting school but tuition is too high ($700 per year) so he has compromised his dream in order to earn enough to support his family. He misses his parents desperately, says not being near them “hurts his heart”, and finds himself feeling lonely most nights. He is kind, smart and speaks very good English. His grandparents were killed by the Kmer Rouge and his family live with the devastation of their deaths every single day.
As we sat there, a group of children came over wanting to sell me some souvenirs and knick knacks. I began to teach them English instead. As the crowd of kids grew around us, I was reminded once again why I love children: their hearts and minds are open to everything. They do not judge, they just absorb, appreciate and are totally present. Being around them is a gift.
I had met a young artist inside one of the temples who was selling paintings created by children at an orphanage nearby. The sale of the artwork helps fund the children’s education, food, clothing and accommodation. I inquired about volunteer needs, jotted down the address and made my way over there.
As Tanvent and I walked into ODA orphanage I was struck by the gorgeous artwork that the children have created; large, bright and vibrant detailed canvases depicting local cultural scenery set up in a makeshift bamboo gallery. As I turned the corner, I was warmly and loudly greeted by a large group of smiling children. A couple of the boys grabbed my hands and began to tour me around their home which is comprised of 2 rooms (12 girls sleep in one, 11 boys in the other), 1 very small outdoor kitchen with a medium sized dining table and an outdoor art “studio” where the children sit and pour out a flurry of paintings and drawings.
I sat and spoke with the owner of the orphanage who explained that he became an orphan when his parents were killed by the Kmer Rouge in 1977. He is a trained artist and although he does not make much money, he felt responsible for other orphans and built the facility with what little he had. He says that he struggles to keep the residence going every day but that he could not live with himself if he didn’t continue to take care of these children. I am consistently astounded by some people's bravery and inspired by their sheer will to do good for the sake of love.
After sitting and painting with the children for awhile, I offered to teach an impromptu yoga class which they happily joined in for. Despite the language barrier, all the kids joyfully made their way into various postures giggling and breathing deep. My heart flooded with gratitude for the gift of my yoga practice once more and the ability to share it. I returned to ODA for the next couple of days and tried to stay focus on what I was able to offer as opposed to the yearning in my heart to do more.
My friends and I reluctantly decided to take a bus down to Pnom Pehn where the Kmer Rouge evacuations initially took place. Although we knew that our visit there would be hard, I never imagined just how challenging it would be. Unlike Siem Reap, the energy of Cambodia's capital is deeply unsettling and chaotic. Cars, tuk tuks and motorbikes flood the streets and sidewalks are riddled with beggars and victims of landmines.
After getting conned into staying in a deplorable guest house that stunk of fish and stale cigarettes, we got ourselves together in search of a restaurant for dinner. As we walked the streets in silence and shock, an old woman on crutches, who was missing a leg, followed us begging for change. I felt emotionally drained and physically exhausted after the long bus ride and ended up tripping off the sidewalk and falling onto the street. I twisted my ankle and screamed out in pain. Fear gripped me with the thought that I might have broken something. All of sudden, I was surrounded by a mob of people offering to help. I was sat down on a chair and the same woman who had been tailing us got down on the ground, began to massage my foot with tiger balm and, as if by magic, the pain subsided . As she smiled a toothless smile up at me, tears began to pour down my face. How can someone who has nothing be so full of love and compassion for a complete stranger? My friends offered her some change in thanks for looking after me which she declined.
When we finally made it to a restaurant, we all sat down in astonishment at the evening's events. We knew the following day would be hard as well since we had made the unanimous decision to visit the Killing Fields and Kmer Rouge torture prison.
The Killing Fields were a number of sites in Cambodia where large numbers of people were killed and buried by the Khmer Rouge regime, during its rule of the country from 1975 to 1979, immediately after the end of the Vietnam War. At least 200,000 people were executed by the Khmer Rouge (while estimates of the total number of deaths resulting from Khmer Rouge policies, including disease and starvation, range from 1.4 to 2.2 million out of a population of around 7 million).
Walking the grounds of the Killing Fields in Pnom Penh is heartbreaking to say the least. Knowing how many innocent people, including women and children, were killed and tortured there is beyond upsetting. After visiting the torture prison and looking at hundreds of photos of the victims, my friends and I decided that we had had enough and that it would be a good idea to travel to Vietnam sooner than anticipated.
The next morning, we packed up our backpacks and hailed a cab to the bus station. As we stopped at a red light, I caught eyes with the same homeless woman/ angel who had taken such selfless care of my foot. I jumped out of the car, gave her a hug, and handed her some money. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, brought her hands in prayer position at her heart, I did the same, and we respectfully bowed to one another.
As our bus, headed to Vietnam, pulled out of the station, I said a silent prayer of gratitude to a country that I have so much love and compassion for. Despite the pain that I felt in my heart while traveling there, I will be forever thankful for the insight and inspiration that it has gifted me. I am amazed at how warm, loving and open the people of Cambodia are in spite of the terror that they have endured. They are a huge testament to the expansiveness of the human heart. My life has been forever changed by the experience of traveling there.
Sending you love and light.
xoxo
As Tanvent and I walked into ODA orphanage I was struck by the gorgeous artwork that the children have created; large, bright and vibrant detailed canvases depicting local cultural scenery set up in a makeshift bamboo gallery. As I turned the corner, I was warmly and loudly greeted by a large group of smiling children. A couple of the boys grabbed my hands and began to tour me around their home which is comprised of 2 rooms (12 girls sleep in one, 11 boys in the other), 1 very small outdoor kitchen with a medium sized dining table and an outdoor art “studio” where the children sit and pour out a flurry of paintings and drawings.
I sat and spoke with the owner of the orphanage who explained that he became an orphan when his parents were killed by the Kmer Rouge in 1977. He is a trained artist and although he does not make much money, he felt responsible for other orphans and built the facility with what little he had. He says that he struggles to keep the residence going every day but that he could not live with himself if he didn’t continue to take care of these children. I am consistently astounded by some people's bravery and inspired by their sheer will to do good for the sake of love.
After sitting and painting with the children for awhile, I offered to teach an impromptu yoga class which they happily joined in for. Despite the language barrier, all the kids joyfully made their way into various postures giggling and breathing deep. My heart flooded with gratitude for the gift of my yoga practice once more and the ability to share it. I returned to ODA for the next couple of days and tried to stay focus on what I was able to offer as opposed to the yearning in my heart to do more.
My friends and I reluctantly decided to take a bus down to Pnom Pehn where the Kmer Rouge evacuations initially took place. Although we knew that our visit there would be hard, I never imagined just how challenging it would be. Unlike Siem Reap, the energy of Cambodia's capital is deeply unsettling and chaotic. Cars, tuk tuks and motorbikes flood the streets and sidewalks are riddled with beggars and victims of landmines.
After getting conned into staying in a deplorable guest house that stunk of fish and stale cigarettes, we got ourselves together in search of a restaurant for dinner. As we walked the streets in silence and shock, an old woman on crutches, who was missing a leg, followed us begging for change. I felt emotionally drained and physically exhausted after the long bus ride and ended up tripping off the sidewalk and falling onto the street. I twisted my ankle and screamed out in pain. Fear gripped me with the thought that I might have broken something. All of sudden, I was surrounded by a mob of people offering to help. I was sat down on a chair and the same woman who had been tailing us got down on the ground, began to massage my foot with tiger balm and, as if by magic, the pain subsided . As she smiled a toothless smile up at me, tears began to pour down my face. How can someone who has nothing be so full of love and compassion for a complete stranger? My friends offered her some change in thanks for looking after me which she declined.
When we finally made it to a restaurant, we all sat down in astonishment at the evening's events. We knew the following day would be hard as well since we had made the unanimous decision to visit the Killing Fields and Kmer Rouge torture prison.
The Killing Fields were a number of sites in Cambodia where large numbers of people were killed and buried by the Khmer Rouge regime, during its rule of the country from 1975 to 1979, immediately after the end of the Vietnam War. At least 200,000 people were executed by the Khmer Rouge (while estimates of the total number of deaths resulting from Khmer Rouge policies, including disease and starvation, range from 1.4 to 2.2 million out of a population of around 7 million).
Walking the grounds of the Killing Fields in Pnom Penh is heartbreaking to say the least. Knowing how many innocent people, including women and children, were killed and tortured there is beyond upsetting. After visiting the torture prison and looking at hundreds of photos of the victims, my friends and I decided that we had had enough and that it would be a good idea to travel to Vietnam sooner than anticipated.
The next morning, we packed up our backpacks and hailed a cab to the bus station. As we stopped at a red light, I caught eyes with the same homeless woman/ angel who had taken such selfless care of my foot. I jumped out of the car, gave her a hug, and handed her some money. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, brought her hands in prayer position at her heart, I did the same, and we respectfully bowed to one another.
As our bus, headed to Vietnam, pulled out of the station, I said a silent prayer of gratitude to a country that I have so much love and compassion for. Despite the pain that I felt in my heart while traveling there, I will be forever thankful for the insight and inspiration that it has gifted me. I am amazed at how warm, loving and open the people of Cambodia are in spite of the terror that they have endured. They are a huge testament to the expansiveness of the human heart. My life has been forever changed by the experience of traveling there.
Sending you love and light.
xoxo
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