Every day in India alters me in some way, teaches me something new and stirs my spirit. But despite all of the beauty, intensity and adventure that has occurred no experience has impacted me quite so deeply as the one I had the other day when I was invited to stay at a friends’ house in the slums of Dharamshala.
Reita and Rimpal are a gorgeous Indian couple who own a meditation and yoga studio here in McLeod Ganj. I met Reita and her 9 month old baby, Shagun, when I moved into my little “home” here at the bottom of the hill. We were immediately drawn to each other and quickly began a friendship. Reita teaches Hindi and is trained in Acupressure. Her husband teaches Yoga and Meditation. She and Rimpal have been living in Dharamshala for 5 years. She is 26 years old and he is 32.
After my yoga class in another studio, I am usually greeted by Reita and we go into the meditation hall to talk about life and spirituality. I enjoy learning about Indian traditions from her and she loves hearing about my life in the US. She has never travelled outside of Northern India but is deeply interested and curious about the world at large. She asks if I have ever spent time in an Indian household, when I let her know that I have not, she invites me over for dinner and a sleepover the following night. When I accept the offer she says, “Wonderful! But please know that we are very poor and live in only one very small room with plastic for a roof.” I assure her that this doesn’t matter to me and that I am very grateful for the invitation. Elated, she and Rimpal then ask me what my favorite Indian food is to which I happily share: Palek Paneer (spinach with cheese) and Raita (yogurt with cucumber and tomato). We make a plan to meet the following evening at 7 pm in their Yoga Hall.
When I arrive to meet them the following night, I bring a gift with me that I know they would appreciate, a little statue of Lakshmi that I have been travelling with that I had gotten at Amma’s ashram during my last trip to India in December. Lakshmi is the goddess of prosperity, wealth, purity, generosity, and the embodiment of beauty. Reita and Rimpal are very touched and immediately place her on their altar in the studio, sit down and begin to chant to her.
Transportation for a lot of Indians is by motorcycle and this is how my friends travel back and forth from McLeod Ganj to lower Dharamshala every day with their nine month old baby. The roads are steep and quite dangerous but there is no alternative for them and despite Reita’s obvious fear of getting on the bike, she usually does so happily but is thrilled that I am her guest and that we will be travelling by taxi. The journey to their home takes about a half an hour. Despite the late hour, she excitedly points out different locations in town that are a part of her daily life.
When we arrive at their home, I am surprised at how nice it is despite the fact that the walls are crumbling and the roof is in fact made out of black plastic. The room is very small with their bed as the central element to the space. They do not have a wardrobe or closet, just a plank table where small piles of clothing are set up next to about 4 toys that belong to their baby, Shagun. There is no kitchen, only a small stove that sits on the floor in front of the bed. There is no refrigerator and no running water. I ask them what they do about storing their food and they tell me that they only purchase enough food for their daily meals. Any leftovers are handed out to animals living in the street (cows, dogs, goats, birds). The bathroom is in a little room across from their “house” and consists of a toilet (again, no running water) and no shower. They have a large water receptacle that they fill once a week which acts as their water tank. If they wish to bathe with warm water, they must heat some water on the stove and mix it with the cold water. They then sit on a stool and pour the water on themselves.
I am invited to sit on their bed which startles me because there is no mattress, only wood planks which are covered by very thin fabric. Shagun and I begin to play on the bed as her parents prepare dinner. Reita rolls dough and makes Chapati (traditional Indian wheat bread) and Rimpal makes the Palek Paneer and Raita. I am touched that they are making my favorite dishes and watch in awe as they do all of this on the floor with no formal cookware or supplies. Within an hour, the food is prepared and we are all excited to eat. Newspaper is placed on the bed and metal plates filled with food are placed on top of it. The food is delicious and I am in awe at the skill with which they have prepared it given the conditions of their home.
We begin to talk about life and I have a million questions for them. They tell me how they met and fell in love. Unlike most Indian arranged marriages, theirs is one of love. They met in Acupressure school and although Rimpal knew that he was in love with Reita from the first day that they met, he waited until their graduation to tell her so. Instead of directly asking her to marry him, he coyly asked “yes or no?” Once she figured out what he was asking, she happily accepted and they were married a few months later. They have been married for 5 years and are very obviously each other’s soul mate.
Rimpal only charges 50 Rupees per Yoga class in McLeod Ganj, which is way below average. Typically classes cost from 100 to 250 rupees. I know he is a wonderful teacher and I am confused as to why he charges so little. He tells me that “money is not important to us. As long as we have enough to pay our rent and can feed ourselves and our baby then we are happy. Too much money confuses people and brings grief to the heart.” I tell him that I admire and understand that but that money is necessary if they want to come visit me in the US. He says “we are always provided for. If we are meant to travel, then we will find a way. We are simple people who do not require much and are blissfully happy. We don’t want to be weighed down by things. If we wish to move, we want to be able to so effortlessly. Life can be challenging as it is. We choose simplicity.”
I began to think about my life back home in Los Angeles. How complicated things can be. When I gave up my home to come here, I sold many of my belongings at a yard sale and was still able to fill a fairly large storage unit with my stuff. I wish I had gotten rid of more and I will probably do so upon my return. In the West, we are encouraged to consume and purchase more and more stuff with the promise that things will make us happy. A bigger home, a newer car, fancy clothes. But are we really and truly happy?
I ask Rimpal what he feels the key to happiness is. He says “Meditation and faith in the Divine. These are the only way.” I believe him. Being around him makes you feel at peace. He is always smiling and laughing. He tells me that he is “always happy.” Reita agrees. Even their baby is happy. She rarely cries and is always smiling.
At about 11:30 pm, we all climb into their bed to sleep. The bed is very uncomfortable (again, we are sleeping on wood planks) and I am amazed at how quickly they fall asleep. I toss and turn for hours. It is hot. There is no air circulation. The electricity is not working so the fan is turned off. I finally fall asleep only to be woken at 6 am by Reita with a cup of Chai tea. She says “I clean. You drink your tea and play with Shagun outside.” Although I am delirious, I happily take the baby outside where we play for hours while Reita sweeps her home, bathes and chants in front of her alter. She then prepares Dahl (lentils) for us as we sit and chat like old friends. I feel so comfortable in their home that it brings tears to my eyes. Reita tells me that I am welcome in their home anytime and I can come live with them if I want to. I ask her if my two dogs are welcome as well. She says “of course. You are all welcome. “The thought of this makes me smile and makes me realize that all things are possible as long as I am open.
My heart is filled with gratitude for the experience and my perspective about life has greatly shifted. I will never take anything for granted: Running water, a comfortable bed, electricity, my ability to travel but most importantly the love of my family and friends. I am so fortunate to have the life that I do, to be able to have the experiences that I am having. And I have so much faith in the Divine.
Sending you Love and Light.
xoxo
