Every day in India alters me in some way, teaches me something new and stirs my spirit. But despite all of the beauty, intensity and adventure that has occurred no experience has impacted me quite so deeply as the one I had the other day when I was invited to stay at a friends’ house in the slums of Dharamshala.
Reita and Rimpal are a gorgeous Indian couple who own a meditation and yoga studio here in McLeod Ganj. I met Reita and her 9 month old baby, Shagun, when I moved into my little “home” here at the bottom of the hill. We were immediately drawn to each other and quickly began a friendship. Reita teaches Hindi and is trained in Acupressure. Her husband teaches Yoga and Meditation. She and Rimpal have been living in Dharamshala for 5 years. She is 26 years old and he is 32.
After my yoga class in another studio, I am usually greeted by Reita and we go into the meditation hall to talk about life and spirituality. I enjoy learning about Indian traditions from her and she loves hearing about my life in the US. She has never travelled outside of Northern India but is deeply interested and curious about the world at large. She asks if I have ever spent time in an Indian household, when I let her know that I have not, she invites me over for dinner and a sleepover the following night. When I accept the offer she says, “Wonderful! But please know that we are very poor and live in only one very small room with plastic for a roof.” I assure her that this doesn’t matter to me and that I am very grateful for the invitation. Elated, she and Rimpal then ask me what my favorite Indian food is to which I happily share: Palek Paneer (spinach with cheese) and Raita (yogurt with cucumber and tomato). We make a plan to meet the following evening at 7 pm in their Yoga Hall.
When I arrive to meet them the following night, I bring a gift with me that I know they would appreciate, a little statue of Lakshmi that I have been travelling with that I had gotten at Amma’s ashram during my last trip to India in December. Lakshmi is the goddess of prosperity, wealth, purity, generosity, and the embodiment of beauty. Reita and Rimpal are very touched and immediately place her on their altar in the studio, sit down and begin to chant to her.
Transportation for a lot of Indians is by motorcycle and this is how my friends travel back and forth from McLeod Ganj to lower Dharamshala every day with their nine month old baby. The roads are steep and quite dangerous but there is no alternative for them and despite Reita’s obvious fear of getting on the bike, she usually does so happily but is thrilled that I am her guest and that we will be travelling by taxi. The journey to their home takes about a half an hour. Despite the late hour, she excitedly points out different locations in town that are a part of her daily life.
When we arrive at their home, I am surprised at how nice it is despite the fact that the walls are crumbling and the roof is in fact made out of black plastic. The room is very small with their bed as the central element to the space. They do not have a wardrobe or closet, just a plank table where small piles of clothing are set up next to about 4 toys that belong to their baby, Shagun. There is no kitchen, only a small stove that sits on the floor in front of the bed. There is no refrigerator and no running water. I ask them what they do about storing their food and they tell me that they only purchase enough food for their daily meals. Any leftovers are handed out to animals living in the street (cows, dogs, goats, birds). The bathroom is in a little room across from their “house” and consists of a toilet (again, no running water) and no shower. They have a large water receptacle that they fill once a week which acts as their water tank. If they wish to bathe with warm water, they must heat some water on the stove and mix it with the cold water. They then sit on a stool and pour the water on themselves.
I am invited to sit on their bed which startles me because there is no mattress, only wood planks which are covered by very thin fabric. Shagun and I begin to play on the bed as her parents prepare dinner. Reita rolls dough and makes Chapati (traditional Indian wheat bread) and Rimpal makes the Palek Paneer and Raita. I am touched that they are making my favorite dishes and watch in awe as they do all of this on the floor with no formal cookware or supplies. Within an hour, the food is prepared and we are all excited to eat. Newspaper is placed on the bed and metal plates filled with food are placed on top of it. The food is delicious and I am in awe at the skill with which they have prepared it given the conditions of their home.
We begin to talk about life and I have a million questions for them. They tell me how they met and fell in love. Unlike most Indian arranged marriages, theirs is one of love. They met in Acupressure school and although Rimpal knew that he was in love with Reita from the first day that they met, he waited until their graduation to tell her so. Instead of directly asking her to marry him, he coyly asked “yes or no?” Once she figured out what he was asking, she happily accepted and they were married a few months later. They have been married for 5 years and are very obviously each other’s soul mate.
Rimpal only charges 50 Rupees per Yoga class in McLeod Ganj, which is way below average. Typically classes cost from 100 to 250 rupees. I know he is a wonderful teacher and I am confused as to why he charges so little. He tells me that “money is not important to us. As long as we have enough to pay our rent and can feed ourselves and our baby then we are happy. Too much money confuses people and brings grief to the heart.” I tell him that I admire and understand that but that money is necessary if they want to come visit me in the US. He says “we are always provided for. If we are meant to travel, then we will find a way. We are simple people who do not require much and are blissfully happy. We don’t want to be weighed down by things. If we wish to move, we want to be able to so effortlessly. Life can be challenging as it is. We choose simplicity.”
I began to think about my life back home in Los Angeles. How complicated things can be. When I gave up my home to come here, I sold many of my belongings at a yard sale and was still able to fill a fairly large storage unit with my stuff. I wish I had gotten rid of more and I will probably do so upon my return. In the West, we are encouraged to consume and purchase more and more stuff with the promise that things will make us happy. A bigger home, a newer car, fancy clothes. But are we really and truly happy?
I ask Rimpal what he feels the key to happiness is. He says “Meditation and faith in the Divine. These are the only way.” I believe him. Being around him makes you feel at peace. He is always smiling and laughing. He tells me that he is “always happy.” Reita agrees. Even their baby is happy. She rarely cries and is always smiling.
At about 11:30 pm, we all climb into their bed to sleep. The bed is very uncomfortable (again, we are sleeping on wood planks) and I am amazed at how quickly they fall asleep. I toss and turn for hours. It is hot. There is no air circulation. The electricity is not working so the fan is turned off. I finally fall asleep only to be woken at 6 am by Reita with a cup of Chai tea. She says “I clean. You drink your tea and play with Shagun outside.” Although I am delirious, I happily take the baby outside where we play for hours while Reita sweeps her home, bathes and chants in front of her alter. She then prepares Dahl (lentils) for us as we sit and chat like old friends. I feel so comfortable in their home that it brings tears to my eyes. Reita tells me that I am welcome in their home anytime and I can come live with them if I want to. I ask her if my two dogs are welcome as well. She says “of course. You are all welcome. “The thought of this makes me smile and makes me realize that all things are possible as long as I am open.
My heart is filled with gratitude for the experience and my perspective about life has greatly shifted. I will never take anything for granted: Running water, a comfortable bed, electricity, my ability to travel but most importantly the love of my family and friends. I am so fortunate to have the life that I do, to be able to have the experiences that I am having. And I have so much faith in the Divine.
Sending you Love and Light.
xoxo
May 19, 2009
May 15, 2009
FREE TIBET
On my journey, there is a lot of talk about “karma” and the idea of what “you put out is what you receive”. I believe in the idea of karma and have had a multitude of personal experiences to prove that there is truth to it but being here in Dharamsala, I am little bit baffled by the concept. What on earth could the Tibetan people have done to deserve the treatment that they are receiving in their own country??
(Just a warning: some of the information below is a little disturbing.)
I attended a lecture the other night that was given by a Tibetan Refugee who was held captive in Tibet for 7 years by the Chinese government. Senge took part in a peaceful protest in 1994 with four close friends. He was 21 years old. His intention was to simply express his desire for freedom for his people. When the Chinese police showed up, Senge and his friends did not fight back despite the beatings that were given to them. The fact that they were carrying a Tibetan flag was enough reason for them to be brought to a detention center where they were held captive for 3 months. There they were fed two meals per day; breakfast consisted of a small bowl of soup riddled with flies and steamed dough (which was typically frozen) was handed out for dinner. Guards took the detainees blood once a day. When Senge asked why they were taking blood, he was told that it was payment for their food.
Beatings took place on a regular basis. Senge and his friends were tied up, taken outside and beaten with iron poles and tortured with electric prods. Their hands were placed under chair legs and guards would sit on them for hours on end. They were forced to stand outside naked in the freezing cold. Water was poured on them and their feet would freeze into the ground.
When they were finally brought to court in Lhasa, they were not allowed to hire an attorney and were sentenced to 6 years in prison. Senge received an additional 2 years because he was the one who actually was carrying the Tibetan Flag on the day that they were captured. Their ages: 19, 20, 16 and 21 years old.
I attended a lecture the other night that was given by a Tibetan Refugee who was held captive in Tibet for 7 years by the Chinese government. Senge took part in a peaceful protest in 1994 with four close friends. He was 21 years old. His intention was to simply express his desire for freedom for his people. When the Chinese police showed up, Senge and his friends did not fight back despite the beatings that were given to them. The fact that they were carrying a Tibetan flag was enough reason for them to be brought to a detention center where they were held captive for 3 months. There they were fed two meals per day; breakfast consisted of a small bowl of soup riddled with flies and steamed dough (which was typically frozen) was handed out for dinner. Guards took the detainees blood once a day. When Senge asked why they were taking blood, he was told that it was payment for their food.
Beatings took place on a regular basis. Senge and his friends were tied up, taken outside and beaten with iron poles and tortured with electric prods. Their hands were placed under chair legs and guards would sit on them for hours on end. They were forced to stand outside naked in the freezing cold. Water was poured on them and their feet would freeze into the ground.
When they were finally brought to court in Lhasa, they were not allowed to hire an attorney and were sentenced to 6 years in prison. Senge received an additional 2 years because he was the one who actually was carrying the Tibetan Flag on the day that they were captured. Their ages: 19, 20, 16 and 21 years old.
The torture that they endured in prison was a lot worse than the detention center; it was physical and emotional. They are forced to change their minds on where they stand on issues about Tibet, when they refused they were beaten for days. A political prisoner that Senge was friends with asked to receive basic medical attention for a wound that he had received during a bad beating. The Chinese guards were so enraged that they beat him more, shot him and then used electric prods in his wound. The prisoner died due to lack of medical attention. Monks were regularly beaten as well.
When Senge was released from prison in 2002, he tried to find a job but it was impossible even though he was supposed to have basic rights like all other Chinese citizens. Despite his freedom, his life was miserable. His basic rights were stripped away forever (as part of his sentence). As long as he chose to live in Tibet; he could not go to school, temples or monasteries and could never attend celebrations and gatherings for the Tibetan people. So in 2005, Senge walked for 20 days with 25 other Tibetans through Mount Everest in the freezing cold to come to India. They could only walk in the evenings to avoid being caught. One of his companion’s fingers froze and had to be amputated so Senge had to care for his friends’ baby and ended up having to carry him for the entire length of his journey.
In 2008 (just last year!!!!), Chinese police raided his home where his mother and sister were still living and found some books that were written by the Dalai Lama, which were actually Senge’s books. For this reason alone, his 59 year old mother and sister were imprisoned. His mother was sentenced to 3 months and his sister received 6. Senge feels guilty every single day because the books belonged to him. He thinks about going back to Tibet to confess this to the Chinese authorities so that they will give his family back their basic rights but he knows that if he does, he will most likely be killed. He never calls his family back home because he fears for their safety if he does.
The Chinese government does not allow photos of the Dalai Lama in Tibet but claim that they allow basic rights to Tibetan people. Have you ever read a book written by His Holiness? I have. Several. He encourages love, peace and equality. There is nothing negative about anything that the Dalai Lama stands for. I have been living with the Tibetan people here in McLeod Ganj for almost a month. They are some of the kindest, most generous and loving people that I have ever met despite the hardship that they have endured.
During the lecture I began to feel helpless and frustrated. What can I do to help?? Senge assured me that there is something that I can do and so can you. There are several petitions online that apparently do help the Tibetan people’s plight for freedom. All they are looking to get back are their fundamental human rights in Tibet: Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion. If there is anything that we can do to help and doesn’t take more than a little time on the internet, why not help?? That is our duty as people who ARE free. I urge you to get involved and spread the word to everyone you know.
I wake up feeling grateful for my freedom every single day. I will never take it for granted. Ever.
Here are some petitions that you can sign and forward:
Get involved!
Sending you love and light from Dharamsala!
xoxo
May 3, 2009
Taking Care of Babies - Rogpa
I have a whole new level of respect for child care workers and parents everywhere. When I signed up to volunteer at the baby center at Rogpa, I did not really know what I was getting myself into. I just thought it would be great fun to play with some children for a few hours and brighten their day. When I initially met with the manager of the organization, he showed me an orientation video that gave me slight pause (I did not think about the “changing the nappys/ diapers" or cleaning the potties aspect of the commitment) but I was still excited.
I arrived at Rogpa in the afternoon at 12:45 pm. When I walked in to the baby care center, my heart was filled with love upon seeing 42 napping babies all perfectly lined up on mats on the floor. The manager directed me to my locker, put a green smock on over my clothes and introduced me to five beautiful Tibetan Women who work in the center and two volunteers, one from Israel and one from Korea, none of whom speak any English. Within minutes, one by one, babies began to awaken and chaos began to ensue. Direction, in the form of pointing fingers, to pick babies up and place them on potties, began amidst cries for attention and affection. “Oh boy, here we go”, I thought.
The center consists of four very small rooms. The largest room is the play room which also acts as the napping, feeding and toilet area. Although the walls are painted with vibrant murals, they are also covered with what appears to be black mold and water damage. The floors are padded fake wood which is coming apart (the children are reprimanded for curiously pulling the floor up, which frustrates me). A smaller room is used for some of the younger babies who need a little more special attention. The other two rooms consist of a storage area/ kitchen and a “laundry” area.
All of the children have colds so handkerchiefs are hung around their necks and I am instructed to keep their noses clean. After all of the babies have awoken and are changed (which takes a good hour), playtime begins. Toys are tossed into the middle of the room and some babies frantically run around joyfully playing. A few of the babies do not appear to be having a good time, so I make it my mission to cheer them up. The next thing I know, I have four children wanting my full attention (I have always dreamed about being a mother but now am pretty sure that my limit would be two, three at the most. I had a hard time maintaining my energy for 6 hours, I cannot even imagine a lifetime of commitment at this point.).
Feeding time was beyond chaotic. Six babies were sat in front of me, on the floor, followed by six bowls and six wet hand towels. High chairs would have been dreamy but not a reality. Ever tried feeding a couple of toddlers? OK, now imagine six! Tossing, spilling and spitting up food...all over me. A suggestion of a change of clothes would have been great. Yet another lesson has been learned.
After feeding is changing time and then play time once again. The end of the day consists of reading (the children love that I can read English, since all of the books are in English even though they only speak Tibetan...strange) and singing time. I haven't sung a full on nursery rhyme in years but can do a mean "itsy bitsy spider", complete with hand motions which I repeat over and over to the babies delight.
The parents arrived at 6 pm and the room is filled with love, warm embraces and gratitude. After sitting down to catch my breath, I head down to the main office to meet with the manager. As soon I walk in he says "hard work, huh?" Um, yeah. The understatement of the year. I decide that a daily commitment in the baby center is not for me but that I will commit to outings to the temple and waterfall on Wednesdays and Fridays.
The next day I signed up to work in the factory to help with crafts. I will be working there every morning, from 9 am to 1 pm for the duration of my time in McLeod Ganj. All of the proceeds from the sale of the items that we create go directly to the maintenance of the baby center (including staff salaries and food) and help for the Tibetan families who have had to make India their home. I am thrilled that I am (finally) able to put my embroidery skills to some great use and absolutely love the experience of working with the Tibetan women who will surely become lifelong friends.
Sending you love and light from McLeod Ganj.
xoxo
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